Wait 'Till Next Year

I hate those four words. I loathe them. People who utter them are either delusional, way too positive, or ignorant when it comes to sports. On Wednesday Chelsea were yet again knocked out of the Champions League in the semifinal round. For those who are unaware, here's a count of how Chelsea have fared in the last six years in Europe's premier cup competition:

2004: Knocked out in the Semifinals by AS Monaco
I wasn't really a fan at this point in the timeline. This was the year before the team won their first Premier League title, and although it was definitely the easiest route to the cup, this wasn't the best team.


2005: Knocked out in the Semifinals by Liverpool
This was the year I really fell in love with the club. Jose's first year in charge, and they had one of the greatest seasons ever witnessed. They lost on a phantom goal call in the second leg at Anfield. Aggregate score, 1-0.

2006: Knocked out in Round of 16 by Barcelona
This was the best Chelsea team of the last 6 years, but they also happened to bump into one of the best teams assembled in the last decade. Ronaldinho was electric, and there was going to be no stopping him.

2007: Knocked out in Semifinals by Liverpool
Penalties decided this one. I was at Nevada Smith's in the city. I thought for sure that was the year for Chelsea. I was wrong. This one hurt real bad, but not as bad as...

2008: Knocked out in Finals by Manchester United
...this one. Again decided by penalties. United were definitely the best team in Europe last year, but Chelsea were right there. They had the title in their grasps, than John Terry slipped and fell, and well we all know the rest.

That brings us to 2009. Chelsea outplayed Barcelona for 92 minutes. Nobody can question that. Barcelona had the possession, but Chelsea were getting the better opportunities, and their defense showed absolutely no sign of cracking. Essien's shot early in the first half was a thing of beauty, it was an absolute cracker off a volley that looked like something out of a video game. Sure, Florent Malouda was clearly fouled in the box, and the official claimed it was outside and only granted a free kick, but it didn't matter. Chels was winning this one, no doubt about it.

Once Barcelona went down to 10-men, on a very dubious red card, I was convinced Chelsea had this thing all sewn up. I was making plans for the day of the final, where Chelsea would certainly exact their revenge from the same match one year previous. Than, in the 93rd minute, the unthinkable happened. Iniesta fired off a bullet that dropped to him off a bad clearance, ironically enough, from Michael Essien. It was jaw-dropping, gut-wrenching, pain. I'm still in absolute shock from that moment. But the worst was yet to come. Following the Iniesta goal Chelsea had an opportunity off of a corner. While they were unable to put the corner in, they were able to fire a rebound towards goal. One of the Barcelona defenders, I don't remember who it was right now, accidentally handled the ball. He definitely handled it, there can be no question, but it was clearly the ball hitting the hand, not the hand hitting the ball. Chelsea's reaction, particularly Michael Ballack's immediate reaction and Didier Drogba's post-game reaction, was disgusting.

Bad calls are a part of the game, of all games, and there were plenty of bad calls in this game. The non-call for a handball penalty at the end of the match though, was not a bad call. For Michael Ballack to decide to use that moment to harass the referee up the field, and literally look like he was going to hit him was sickening. Grow up Michael. You had 90 minutes to win the game, and you played over 20 minutes of the second half with an 11 to 10 man advantage. It's not the officials fault Chelsea couldn't secure another goal at home, or prevent Barcelona from scoring on the road for that matter. Drogba's harassment through the police barricade at the conclusion of the match was even worse. I hope he gets fined, suspended, and Abramovich sells him off to a third division team in Ukraine. For all the glory Didier has brought to the club and to my life, he has brought just as much petulance, shame, and embarrassment. If this team showed half the heart they show when they are complaining about officiating or coaching, they would be the best team in Europe. I can't blame Guus Hiddink for leaving, I wouldn't want to manage this group of cry babies either.

My point is this. The game was devastating, because I want that Champions League trophy so bad. I want it so bad I can taste it. It's not fair to keep getting this close and to have my hopes dashed again and again. The last three years I've seen them lose twice in penalties, and once in the 93rd minute by the away goals rule. There is no worse way to go down. But this year has been different for me and Chelsea. The game was difficult to handle, but not as catastrophic. The fact that Chelsea are about to finish 3rd in the Premier League is disappointing, but not destructive. I found myself pretty much over the loss by the end of the night actually. Then I started asking myself why. Why do I not care as much this year as I did last year or the year before, or the way I cared in 2005? It's not because I'm getting older, or I'm becoming desensitized. I was catatonic when the Cubs lost in October, and I'm still not over the Giants loss in January. No, this team didn't deserve it. Deep down inside, I'm not sure I wanted this Chelsea team to win the Champions League. There's no heart, no leadership, no commitment with this group of guys. John Terry is a sham of a captain. He isn't the guy he once was, and he never shows the leadership you see in guys like Steven Gerrard or Rio Ferdinand. I wasn't proud to be a Chelsea fan this year, they just felt like a collection of rudder-less mercenaries.
If it was up to me, and I was in charge of the club I'd sell off almost every single piece. I'd hold on to Essien, Bosingwa, Lampard, Carvalho (is he still up to it? I think his best days are behind him, but I hope not), and that's it. Everyone else can shove off. I'd rather see the team bring in younger, less developed guys, watch them grow into a team over a few years with the leadership of the guys I named earlier, than have to sit through another season of this garbage. These guys were an absolute shame to everything this club has done since Roman Abramovich came aboard. Guus is leaving at the conclusion of the season, and they should pack the rest of the team up with him. I loved that Guus came out and said even though I'm leaving, I will have a say in who goes and who stays so these men need to know they are playing for their jobs. The club needs a shakeup, as long as they keep this same nucleus there with Terry running the show, things won't change. And if things don't change soon, I have serious doubts as to my ability to still love this team. I'll always love the shirt, the stadium, and the club itself, but I don't have to love this team. And I won't.